Perhaps I should have posted this on 4chan? Oh well....

For those of you unfamilar with the Shit was SO cash! meme



( Will to Cut 1 )



( Will to Cut 2 )

If you found this entry to be a highly ribald knee-slapping affair then I would urge you to have a look at loltheorists 

Tags: uni, werdness, writing
Current Location: uni
Current Music: Pink Freud

It was the last ever Prose Creative Writing lecture, so we ended up with a big lecture on "question everthing" and "what DID you get out of this? Go on I won't be upset...?"

We had a nice chat about the most transgressive books we've ever read (Crash, and Snuff being mine...) the most nastiest thing we've ever read was The White Hotal (Nazi rape/genocide). And then we wound up in the SU bar discussing socialism, British politics, the unwritten constitution and a final get-together...uh oh!

And then we brought our lecturer one final glass of white wine and cheered as he left for his next class. HIP HIP HORRAY x3

:(

The novel inverts the Genesis story in a number of ways: It is Adam, not Eve, who is tempted; the tempter is female, not a subtle male serpent, and Digory/Adam resists the temptation. His sense of devent behaviour prevails! He obediantly takes the fruit to Aslan and it is planted in Narnia where it grows into a tree which will guard the land and ensure that it remains a place of innocent joy for hundreds of years. As a reward for his virtue Digory is given a fruit from this new tree to take home to his mother. When she has eaten it she grows well again, and life for Digory returns to what it was before she became ill, a time of innocent delight blessed by her presence:

Tags: kendo, random, uni
Current Location: uni
Current Music: Pendulum - Midnight Runner

Found this lovely little gem on facebook, a group called "This is not Poland, so fuck off!" no prizes for guessing what it was about...

"well you can sit bk nd watch our country get raped if u want but soon enough we will all cause social unrest and bad things will happen by the way hitler saw this coming years ago read mind kampf if we listened to the good half of hitler we wud be fine actualy hitler loved us he didnt want war so if we never made first strike we wud still be fine"

This is the reason why "Facepalm" was invented.

These are my people damnit! Well to some extent at least...but...fuckin' hell what is happening? We're turning into a potential BNP stronghold and that's really not a good thing, especially when you see the educated ones (unlike matey who I quoted, that's for damn sure) going on about how their policies aren't racist! And of course you can't argue with many of them, because god forbid you happen to be educated or mostly middle class.

Uni's pretty shit at the moment, our summer ball's been cancelled which means most of the student's time whinging about it being cancelled without actually *properly* considering why it was cancelled. It was called off because the union couldn't afford it, they made stupid losses the previous year because not nearly as much students brought a ticket. A meeting was called with the actual management of the university and the student's union (made up of students and ex students) and agreed that a one week selling period (which was advertised two weeks in advance) would be reasonable but not ideal. What was made crystal clear to *everyone* was that a minimum of 2000 tickets HAD to be sold in order for the ball to be justified.

Only 1'300 tickets were sold, so the ball was cancelled.

Within a day a petition was set up (on Sit-on-my-Facebook, no less...zomg!) which plenty of no nothing know it alls were sticking their heads out of the pulpit complaining how badly organised everything was, and asking why a downscaled ball couldn't be planned.
As what was quite obvious to anyone with half a brain is that a downscaled event couldn't take place unless there was sufficant interest (2000 tickets), plenty of people commented that the ticket selling should have been earlier in the year which ignored the fact that the selling of the ticket happened within a few weeks of everyone getting their student loans in...meaning that the selling was infact the best they could have done.

The simple fact is that not enough people put their money where their mouth was which meant that it was perfectly justified by the managment to reject a ball. What's annoying is that too many people took this chance to whine, bitch and generally talk utter shite about something which they had no idea about.

In other news....I think I'm in love with this Sphynx

http://www.viruscomix.com/page332.html

<3 <3 <3

Tags: random, rants
Current Location: home
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Lost Eden soundtrack

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5vb1dPHvAU

Things to do.

1. Record thoughts "I need to express even if it does depress, so lets drop the LSD and begin the sexual unity"
2. Work like stink on my dissertation 5000 words to go
3.Finish Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
4. Research Jungian archetypes
5. Kendo!
6. Kickboxing!
7. Work in a shitty sports store trying hardest not to kill the chav thieves we get, who steal money out of MY pocket.
8. Try my hardest not to get into a fight with a certain individual (srsly I want to go to America next year)
9. Organise Kendo socials because my club captain is a lazy pisshead who will no doubt take the credit for it but oh well...
10. Chase up the tax office at my work for the £400 that they owe me.
11. Saxophone playing
12. Read the books for my classes
13. Research Micheal Foucault and prepare for a 3000 word essay due next month
14. Possibly go climbing
15. Pay my three grand debt to the university
16. Refund my summer ball ticket since the ball get cancelled (stupid student apathy)
17. Try my hardest not to go crazy
18. Finish Burning Chrome
19. Make progress on The Passion of New Eve
20. Write something extremely trippy for my seminar on Transgressive Fiction
21. Finish Snuff
( The Great Desert of Suburbia )

Tags: loz, uni, writing
Current Location: uniuniuniuniuniuni
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: crappy techno

www.elffetish.com/instasue.html

Chapter One

Bumbinator sighed heavily as she threw her velvet cloak to the floor. Feisty anger flashed in her Red eyes. 'Curse you father!' she muttered to herself under her breath. 'An arranged marriage! How could you do this to me... your only daughter! Have you no care for my own happiness?' She flopped over onto her soft Velvet-sheeted bed and glanced around at the empty room. Tears began to flood her eyes and roll softly down her porcelain cheeks. 'I cannot marry another,' she said in a voice no louder than a whisper. 'I cannot, for my true love is Hitchner.'

Standing, Bumbinator walked solemnly to the window that overlooked the city of Bognor Regis. The sun was just setting for the night, casting a golden glow over the countryside. But the beauty of the scene touched not Bumbinator's heart, for it was saddened by the news that had been given to her only hours before. She was to be married to Ging0r, who was a close personal friend of her father's. She had been given no say in this matter- it was arranged behind her back. And there was no turning away from it now. Tomorrow, she would leave for Willisland to meet her future husband. And the day following, they would be wed.

Bumbinator clutched at the windowsill until her knuckles turned white, and she wept bitter tears. How could this be happening? All her life, she had been happy and carefree, and now this trouble... What had she done to deserve such a fate? Slowly, and with the blur of tears still in her vivid Red eyes, she paced about her bedroom. All she could think of now was Hitchner, and how the news would break his heart.

They had met two summers ago in Herebetrolls, when Bumbinator had gone for a ride in the country with her mother and sisters. But when Bumbinator had strayed off the path to follow an adorable baby Tiger, she had become separated from her family and hopelessly lost. Then out of nowhere a band of orcs had appeared to attack her. By some stroke of luck, she happened to have her father's Dagger hidden secretly within the folds of her skirt. But though she managed to kill 999 of the foul creatures, she was soon outnumbered.

Then just as she though her life would be ended, a beautiful dream-like vision appeared before her. The deadly warrior who had come to her rescue, a handsome Undead, quickly killed off the remaining 666 orcs with his Axe before rushing to Bumbinator's side.

It was love at first sight. The moment she looked into his sparkling Green eyes, Bumbinator knew there would never be any other for her. 'My name is Hitchner,' he said in a voice soft as the summer wind. Tenderly, he put a hand on her Fanny to make sure she was alright. 'Are you hurt, my lady?' he asked.

'No,' she replied. In truth there was a bad cut on her Legs, but she didn't want to worry Hitchner. 'And my name is Bumbinator.'

'Bumbinator,' Hitchner repeated. He said the name as if savouring the sound of it on his tongue. 'That is a beautiful name, fit for so beautiful a lady.'

Bumbinator blushed coyly. She could feel his eyes wandering over her body, from head to foot, as he took in the sight of her laying on the grass. In truth, she was beautiful. Unusually so, some said. Her father came from the line of Dwarfs of Orcstown, while her mother was born into a lordly house of Elves in Kingstown. The blending of the two races came together perfectly in Bumbinator, giving her an exotic look that few males found they could resist. Large almond-shaped bright Red eyes were framed perfectly by shimmering waves of thick Black hair that fell to her waist. A Ruby-encrusted mithril pendant hung ever from her slender white neck, accentuating the delicate frame of her collarbone.

Suddenly, Bumbinator and Hitchner were interrupted by a wild cry that signified more orcs still lurked nearby. 'Come,' said Hitchner as he hurried Bumbinator to her feet. 'It is not safe to linger here. You must come with me, and hurry!' Taking Bumbinator's hand, he hastened away from the sound. Bumbinator did her best to keep up with him, but the pain in her Legs was too great.

'My lady!' gasped Hitchner when he saw her lagging behind. 'You are injured!' Immediately he sat her down to examine the wound. Blood had already started to soak through her gown in an ugly red stain. 'I must tend to this wound now as best I can,' he said. 'We will find a healer later, but for now this cannot wait.' Without a second thought, he pulled off his Codpiece and began tearing it into bandages for Bumbinator's Legs.

With this makeshift bandage in place, Bumbinator and Hitchner were able to hurry on their way. The cries of orcs were ever-present behind them, but they ran swiftly. Soon, Bumbinator found herself in front of a small cabin, which she guessed must belong to Hitchner. He held the door open as he stepped inside, beckoning for her to follow him. 'Come in,' he said. 'We will be much safer in here.'

Bumbinator took a deep breath as she stepped toward the cabin door. Here she was, a young virgin noblewoman, about to be alone in a cabin with someone she had just met. It was true he was the most handsome Undead she had ever seen, and he had just saved her life, but were his true intentions that noble? And what would her family, especially her father, say once they found out where she had been? Bumbinator had half a mind to run back home right then, but as she heard the clamour of orcs drawing nearer once more, she realised she had no choice. She steeled her will and followed Hitchner into the cabin, shutting the door firmly behind her.

:=)

Tags: lolz

I've had a fairly hard two weeks, my borderline alchoholic douchbag of a friend decided it would be a fantastic idea to trash a traffic bollard one night, and since I and my other friend joined in ( though I must take this moment to point out that the first chap managed to rip it out off of the ground it was nailed to while I just tapped it ), of course the partyvan arrived soon after and we both got fined eighty pounds. Doesn't help that the guy who really annihalted the poor bollard ran like the dickens leaving us on our own to face the music, that is...until we gave them his name and adress, which wasn't the nicest thing to do, but hey, he did leave us all on our own to pay for a crime which (his words not mine) we didn't do much. Nautrally said person HATES MAH GUTZ!!!!!ZOMG!!!! Good. Fuckin'. Riddence.
A week ago my other friend had a panic attack brought on by the ordinary stress that university sometimes gives you, and mostly given due to something traumatising that happened to him over the summer. I kinda of feel like I'm back home again, that I'm the only sane bastard on this planet.
Planning to stay away from heavy drinkers from now on....well not totally, I just can't be dealing with all the emotional damage and drain that I suffer from such people by used as an emotional tampon. 

Better news, I'm getting much better at Kendo, and I'm thinking of taking up rock climbing since I'm not the skinny runt I was a few years ago, plus it looks as if I'm making some sort of progress on my dissertation; I'm thinking on doing a study on the use of anti-hereos within science fiction. I'm hoping it will be focused enough since science fiction (in the grand scheme of things) is a fairly recent genre with a lot of varied texts to study.

I also have a new job which is minimum wage but it's only just around the corner from where I live. I work in a tacky sportswear shop....actually tacky isn't the correct word, it's got a good range of stuff, even has ankley supporters which I might need for Kendo.
Went out to see Taken with my housemates, was amused along the way by Green Street refrences and London slang. I might write a review for Taken and email it to the student newspaper, but I think I might have missed the deadline....

Tags: climbing, kendo, uni. rant, writing
Current Location: uni
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Oh My God - Kaiser Chiefs

....and welcome back to university.

Well it's the start (almost) of my third and final year (ZOMG! What do I do with my life!!?) and I'm back in the library not studying yet because I can't work out how to install my internet in my house, despite landlord giving me the access code. Right now the place is filling up with mature and foreign students trying to enroll on the computers so I'm tapping away at the keyboard before on of them pushes me off for "not working"

Speaking of work I'm here early so I can go job hunting before the rush of freshers and returning students beat me too it. What's annoying is that I'm the only one in the house at the moment so I'm jumping at every load noise at night, but also because places just don't do application forms anymore, you have to access them on the internetz these days.

On Saturday night I went round my friend's house and had a few drinks and talked about our summer holidays, his was more interesting because he went to New Zealand to see his sister. The highlights involve watching rugby, his friend getting spat at by a llama and the nationwide "fault" of rugby being replaced with hardcore porn. According to him, at around 3pm on a Saturday him and his brother in law were watching daytime local rubgy teams only to be replaced with grotty porn for ten mins. The whole island saw the channel and several people at the TV centres lost their jobs due to the "distribution fault"

 http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10520296

Right I must continue my job hunt....

Tags: funny, job, uni
Current Location: uni
Current Mood: good
Current Music: nowt

Because I'm bored and should be doing so much more,I'm going to waste time on the internet by posting the stuff that scared me as a kid, so you can laugh at me read it and probably post the same thing on your own journal.

1. A really messed up cartoon that's always on the end of Disney's Dumbo. It more or less teaches that torture is OK in some situations. (Wolf gets his arse smacked repeatedly on some sort of elaborate lie detector/truth extractor)

2. The Giant Mouse of Minsk from American Tale

3. Jim Hennson's Dinosaurs (it was always the introduction "Honey! I'm home!" that did it for some reason.)

4. Newt from Aliens dropping through the air vent into the sewers. (I always thought that would happen to me for some reason)

5. Arachnophobia

6. The naughty kids getting turned into donkeys on Disney's Pinocchio

7. My dad's halloween mask

8. Knightmare

9. A rather graphic drawing of someone on the guillotine in a history book. (Didn't stop me from reading it though...)

10. The Wax Dungeon in the Isle of Wight

11. The freaky stuff from Round the Twist

12. Are you Afraid of the Dark?

13. A big book of Victorian Ghost Stories

14. The Osborne Book of Greek and Norse Myths.

15. Doom

Tags: funny, meme, scary
Current Location: home
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Pendulum - The Other Side

Today I finally managed to get my head around playing Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street, the notes sound mostly in tune but since my musical ear isn't 100% it's a bit of a shot in the dark. All that's left for me to do is get the timing and note trilling correct. For those of you not aware of such a classic/famous song it's this...


Yeah I agree lol!!!1!



Ok this song might not be everyone's cup of tea, but try to watch it for the video at least. I'm left wondering what happened to the victim in the trunk.



And last but not least, it's not a video, but it is a series of point and click flash games.....I'm stuck on the first level of the Kraken episode.

http://www2.warnerbros.com/web/steppenwolf/home.jsp

Tags: music, random, videos
Current Location: home again
Current Music: Gnarls Barkley - Going On